Fecal promises "divine justice" if
Diego(Fecal City, December 22) .- After welcoming the release of former senator Diego Onion Quixote, after seven months in captivity, Mr. Fecal, Pestilential of Mexico, announced that his "government" will act to the ultimate consequences for justice in this case, calling it "insulting to the nation."
At a press conference held in the multipurpose room, "José Antonio Primo de Rivera" of the official residence of Los Vinos, Prime Mamatario, visibly excited (sic) said he would not rest until put behind bars "to eshos-hic! - hijosss of putaaah ..." that kidnapped last May blanquilloazul prominent politician.
"Let me be clear ... biennnn hic! Va'que-Eshtoo sssse not be ashiiii ... Losh vamosss a-hic! - Huevoshhhh loshhh hanging, "he said, while an aide to the State Children Pestilential approached him a plate with cocaine. After a deep sigh , the pestilent continued: "It is unacceptable that criminal groups want to kneel, my friends, the Mexican State. We will not tolerate! All the weight of the law against criminals! "He said as he hit for slapping the lectern.
discarded Diego's case is getting special treatment: "I am the pestilent of all Mexicans, good!, Less than those already dead, right? (Laughs). It is a lie that we are giving priority to the abduction of Diego than other equally important issues as, for instance, this lady ... What's your name? ... the lady of Chihuahua ... this ... How was it? ... Well, in any way and died. But that does not hesitate to take drastic action for justice! So far I have given specific orders to send you a crown of flowers, the biggest you can, to the family of the woman. If we could not deliver it, is why do we always forward, and kill him a relative new every day. But I am sure that very soon we will arrive first to the criminals, "he said.
Questioned about the possible political use of kidnapping Onions Quixote, the pestilent said: "lie, lie, lie, LIE!" While ripped through the lectern to chingadazos. "There is no political advantage and we are appealing to the pity of anyone. If Diego wants to run in 2012 will be his decision. But once that is clear, do not forget that those who kidnapped him are a danger to Mexico. This discourse of equality and social justice is very similar to those rebels to whom they steal, I say we beat them in 2006. I would not hesitate to be behind the kidnapping of my dear friend Diego. Therefore, send a decree demanding the Congrueso to prevent these terrorist groups to participate in elections. Enough of terrorism already left! ", Said the pestilence, which was strongly applauded by journalists. Even the announcer Dróguira fainted from the excitement, so that semi-conscious, asked to be revived with "polvitos magical" wish was instantly fulfilled by the EMP.
Finally, Prime Mamatario once again pledged to do justice, "Divine justice, for that I am your fucking father, god damn chair" in the case of former Senator panucho. "We will give a warning to all our enemies," he said.
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